sounds like it never took that long man as you said, not too keen on the bassline and the violins are pretty good but once it kicks in it doesn't seem to resemble the main part of the tune, alot of repetitive samples on there aswell which can be a good thing but it would be better if u done some kick ass lead with the roland you own to keep the tune alive, gets boring after a while yeah but you wanted an opinion and here it is, just keep working there man once your a bit older i think you'll crack the system with good tunes, i've actually just quit college i think me and you done the same thing but its like learning to play fucking keyboard again and i aint doing differently so they can make sure im doing it right..
do the track the way you feel is right, if you wanna do trance do trance, if you wanna do break beat type of rock then go do that
if you wanna do your own thing, take the risk of shit tunes at first but build apon it to create the ultimate masterpiece which will have you known by alot of other artists
hope this was some help to you