As for being a comedian, it's bloody hard work. I used to work with a guy who had a go, and although his material was quite good, he used to have to play some right shit holes just to get a gig. Some of the best comedians around today did that for 5-10 years straight, while doing the waiter/ warehouse/ other crap job thing to pay their rent.

Typically you'll need about 20 minutes of good material for a ten minute slot, because you're gonna be hard pressed to remember everything under pressure and you need some jokes to fall back on if the ones you're telling aren't getting a good reception. Also be prepared to be booed off after less than 20 seconds if you don't grab the audience's attention immediately. And don't expect to actually get paid a decent amount till you become recognised as someone people will actually pay to see. Bums on seats and all that.

Last I heard my workmate had gone to the Edinburgh Fringe and lasted all of about 3 minutes before being kicked off stage. And he was doing OK up until that point. He gave up shortly after that and got a proper job.

If you're serious about trying it, go to a venue like the Comedy Store that's having an open mic night. If you suck, (and you will) just take it graciously and leave the stage. Pronto. Then watch the other performers to get an idea where you went wrong. Then try again next time.

Fucking insurance is a fucking ripoff. The annual premium and excess is more than the cost of the tv itself. Fuck 'em. I'd rather pay for a new one.

thank you guys for the support



i agree with jetsonik.. i think u should check the internet and find some info about it, read about how other comedians started their career, and start to perform for friends and fam, then increase ur audience i think thats how chris rock started


today was a really bad day, i had a sleepless night, then early in the morning i had an exam which i failed for the 2nd time, i came back home all crying, and went to the bed, i slept for 5 hours and now i feel strange, i had to go to the agency i said to them that i cant attend today, but they been nice and said that i can come any other day

my girl cried to me today on the phone, i don't feel anoyed by it i just feel so much less a man........

Happy valentines day?

The thing is, was it something you'd done, or something you'd not done..?

nah it was neither mate lol i think i got it all sorted out, was the first time i ever herd her cry, was bad man donno how to describe it

I cut my bottom lip on some foil to a gum wrapper. How does that happen?!?!?!

you're the first man lol... how the fuck do you do that??? lol normally i pull the gum out of the wrapper.. and if i get tired of the gum and kept the wrapper and feel like spittin it back in the wrapper i've still never in 25 years managed to do that lol

finding out your subscription to a music magazine costs this much yearly!!!!!!!!!! :

1 Year (13 Issues) - $117.00 US


On average that's some $70 or $80 more than a yearly subscription with someone else!!!!!

First up, this is a realy drunken rant, so apologies if it offends anyone.

WRRFMOT(What really royally fucked me off today):

I've been seeing a girl for the last couple of monthd, and she's perfect, or at lest I thought she was. Tonight we went out to a club and all was going really well unmtil her ex turned up. Now this guy is by all accounts a complete wanker, hes one of those whiny little shits you really wanna slap.and she's told me this a while vack and said she's glad hed left her. Hes hit her at least a couple of times in the past, and owes her about 300 quid too. He pretty much demanded to talk to her in the middle of the club, and she told me it was OK and she'd omly be a couple of minutes and get rid of him. He gives it the whole 'I'm lost without you' routine, and fuck me she decideds to give him another chance!!!! She then comes back to me, explains that she's going to go back home with him. I just left them without another wpord. She's called me twice to try and explain but Fuck her, I can't go throught this bullshit again. so I'm going round her place tomorrow to collect whatevers mine. I hope shes not there, cos i cant face seeing her after the fucking mess shes made.
If hes there too, i'm gonna kick the shit out of him .right now, im gonna get paraletic drunk.

What is it with some women? Why cant they see what complete arseholes soime exes are, and see the reasons they lefy tem inthe first place.?

I'm not quite sure but the wrapper gave my lip a paper cut. I got out a piece of gum and partially unwrapped it and removed the rest when I had it half in my mouth (I hope no one quotes that out of context) and pulled the rest off. It didn't hurt like a normal paper cut tho so thats good.



Damn that sucks man, sorry to hear about all that. It does sounds like he needs a beating for smacking the lady around.

christ jetsonik, i've had that done to me once before, not as bad but fuck i feel ure pain, i fucked up once again with my girl, get drunk mate and let it all out, thats the best thing for ya when shit like that happens i feel

Jetsonik: I have a troubled friend with pretty much the same story. Since he heard it this weekend he has been fucked up. That girl send him a sms, normally she would call him! They were always discussion intimate stuff in the phone and suddenly she turns away and gives this fucker another chance. That guy's really not gonna change for her.

We talked for hours yesterday but we found out her decision was a completely random one. It seems she didn't really think about her decision so we assume she's be single in no time. And then we'll see. But until then I have a fucked up mate, which in turn pisses ME off. Woman can also be completely stupid, but this one is so fucked up... I can't even imagine how fucking stupid she is. It's like jumping off a cliff. That ex of hers even found himself another girl in the time they didn't have a relationship, so I don't know. This guys should stop thinking with his dick and the girl shouldn't be so fucking emitional and bitchy about that guy. Indeed, where are the reasons she left him in the first place? She was talking shit about her ex to my mate, and now she wants to go for it another time. It's not complicated, it's fucking dumb. And my mate can't even try to tell her. She pretty much ignores him, like nothing happened. From what I heard from my mate she was even already envisioning sex with him, always talking about personal stuff and all that shit, for hours and hours. Suddenly, she throws it out the fucking window of a moving car. Gone investment. And big phone bills. The cunt send my mate a sms to let him know she's going back to her ex, normally she would call him. Fucking whore.

Sorry mates, I had to tell this. It pissed me off.